Career Anniversary Gifts

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

"It's a fine résumé, but the best I can offer you right now is a cameo in accounting."

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

'Roger was home schooled, so it was only natural that he wound up working at home.'

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"I told him not to get side-tracked in Accounting, but would he listen?"

"This is bogus. I demand to speak to someone higher up."

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

Mark Zuckerberg

I'm sorry Bernard, we just feel you're out of your depth here.

'I've got a tight schedule.'

Entry-Level Job.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'