Celebrating Retirement Gifts

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Award Winning Gardener

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Old Karate Master

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"You're right, they are statins."

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

"Hold the confetti, sir, he's not retiring, you're letting him go."

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.