Retirement Fun Gifts

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Pilot with champagne.

Church Basement Foodie

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Old Karate Master

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Tourist

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

Old Dog's Home

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'I miss the noise, the pollution and all the other stuff that we came here to get away from.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'Last cruise I ever take! Stuck with the same people for three weeks...'

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

Dun spellchecking.

I know the guide book said the site was a bit remote....