Retirement Community Humorist Gifts

'Help! I've fallen UP and I can't get back down!'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Turtle Trailer Court

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"That's not what I meant when I suggested rocking on the porch, Mr. Clampwell."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

When scientists come out of retirement.

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"My bottom went to sleep."

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Old fly...retirement home.