Retirement Community Humorist Gifts

'Help! I've fallen UP and I can't get back down!'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"My bottom went to sleep."

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

Old fly...retirement home.

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.