Retirement Commentator Gifts

"Leaving parties aren’t as much fun since they put up the retirement age!"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

When scientists come out of retirement.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

'I think we've done enough to help the economy now.'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"Damn shareholders are objecting to 'grotesquely inflated' executive pay... They want us to settle for 'outrageously inflated'!"

Finally Debt Free

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

The aging process can play some cruel jokes on your body!

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

Jell-O: A Life.

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

Old fly...retirement home.

'The good news is we stopped your bank account from hemorrhaging.'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

J. Smith: Passive Smoker

"Since he retired I like to keep in handy around the house."