Retirement Advocate Gifts

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

It's called "taking a nap," Lance, and no, I don't want to see any Rorschach inkblots.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"Gracie, if we want to see more Latinos in film, we need to support Latino films. When a movie comes out with Latino stars and Latino story, we need to go see it."

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

Old Dog's Home

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

Angry pensioner

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

He can't come to the phone now. He's busy recharging his computer, his cell phone, himself...

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"I wasn't hibernating. I was resting my eyes."

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"Some of you have opted for the Early Retirement Package."

'No offense, but you guys with your nine lives really blew the pension fund!'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.