Retirement Advisor Gifts

'You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'No offense, but you guys with your nine lives really blew the pension fund!'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"Of course, you can always supplement your retirement income with panhandling."

"We need 80% of our pre-retirement income for retirement."

"It's never too late to improve the deficit in your retirement savings - ever considered a life of crime?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

"Take my life - I'm saving my money for my old age."

'I have to live and die young because of poor retirement planning.'

Nikki 2024

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

'You've won health benefits... do you want to let it ride for your pension?'

Faulty fiscal planning

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

"Some of you have opted for the Early Retirement Package."

RIP Retirement In Peace

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"Be glad to be young and poor. This way you've got enough time to prepare for old-age poverty."

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

Retirement Anxiety Race.

"I shudder to think where'd I be if I hadn't planned properly for retirement."

Time to Retire?

The Pension Dashboard

"Do you have a minute to talk about your retirement years?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'