Pensions Advisor Gifts

"I'm not sure why people worry so much, I see a pension as a guarantee of security..."

Police warning: Thieves operating in this area.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Someone loses his pension.

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Rolling Over a Pension.

Mismanagement Consultant.

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.