Pension Consultant Gifts

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

"Between my IRA, small pension, and savings, I think when I retire, I'll only need two part time jobs to get by."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

We're calling our pension package "sushi" because it's a raw deal

They want us to work longer...

Pension Matters

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

"Good thing we got to you first. Inland Revenue wants you for Irregularities in Pension Payments."

"...we think we can boost your pension."

"Oh, hello. There's the workplace pension. Just doing his thing there. But at the moment, people are ignoring him. Maybe it's because he's a complex bit of financial legislation which has been reduced to a cutesy animated character wandering around in a park..."

Worrying about the demise of the social security.

Pension Agreement - 'Do you mind if I put these on your brazier?'

"Fortunately with the Government's new simplified pension scheme it's much easier to work out that you're going to have to work until 108 before retiring in abject poverty!"

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"It used to be called pensions."

"I don't know if we have a good retirement plan. . . no one lasts long enough to find out!"

"We have employer mismatch contribution to retirement plans."

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?