Pension Planning Pro Gifts

"I thought now might be an appropriate time to review your pension planning."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

Someone loses his pension.

Frosty, the Golden Years

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."