Pension Planning Pro Pillows

"I thought now might be an appropriate time to review your pension planning."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Someone loses his pension.

Frosty, the Golden Years

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'