Pension Strategist Pillows

'We have a wide range of Annuities'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

Pension Matters

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"I'm afraid your Christmas present hasn't gone down too well!"

"Coping with retirement planning is increasingly complex..."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Someone loses his pension.

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

Rolling Over a Pension.

Mismanagement Consultant.

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.