Retirement Plan Strategist Pillows

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Investing your savings

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

401K

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

Frosty, the Golden Years

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."