Retirement Planners Pillows

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'

"Sorry, Dad, but it's time to consider a retirement kingdom."

'Hi Dad. How's it going?' - 'Cruise? What cruise?! You've just been on a cruise!!!' - 'Gah! My beautiful inheritance... melting like a tiny novelty ice cube in the cocktail of my parents' retirement...' -

'I started school at age six and I'm done with it at age 16. I think that after spending 62,5% of my entire life at work I've got the right to retire.'

A Recent Study Shows...9 out of 10 teachers will work through retirement.

'Its equipped with an air cushion in case I fall asleep!'

Couple in bed with health charts

"We've been up here forty-three years - Maybe we SHOULD start looking into retirement homes."

"Are we old enough to consider a cruise, yet?"

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"As a foolproof retirement plan hoping that one of the Kardashians falls for you might be a little optimistic."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'