Pension Planner Pillows

'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

Passing the pension time bomb.

PERSONNEL, 'Our retirement plan is that we try to get you Swedish citizenship.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"Right, you've pretty much agreed that you think saving for a pension should be compulsary. Who do you think it should apply to?" "Him...Him...Her...Him...Them...Him."

Try to think of bankruptcy as an accounting procedure.

"Before we discuss the status of your investment portfolio, do either of you have a heart condition?"

Rolling Over a Pension.

'Tonight's show will feature adult videos on safeguarding your pension, reverse mortgages, and lowering your cholesterol.'

401K

'This is the one the consultants felt had the greatest urban theme park potential.'

"Your 401(k) rolled over nicely, sat up briefly, then expired."

'Finally...some money for our 401K!'

'When it comes to retirement account rollovers, I'm top dog.'

'Can I borrow a dollar, Helen? All I have on me is a 401K.'

401K.

'We have a problem...you're still around but your old-age retirement savings no longer exist!'

'Oh, I could get by on my social security, if I lived under a bridge.'

"Pensions is a complicated business."

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'Thanks for being so understanding about the early withdrawal I made from my IRA account. I was afraid there might be some sort of penalty.'

"Well the good news is that with the increase in our retirement age my pension will only have to last a few years!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

They want us to work longer...

'Calm down, I'm here for your pension.'

Writer's Pension Fund

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Pledges for my 10k. Pledges for my 20k. Pledges for my 401(k).

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'Having had no professional guidance, it appears your retirement plan retired without you.'