Retirement Strategist Pillows

'Retirement plan? Well, every week a dollar of your salary goes toward the purchase of a lottery ticket.'

"The only bit of advice that really resonated with me was . . . remember your kids in your will as they decide what sort of nursing home you end up in."

'It was huge, it was in flames and it had 'Pension Funds' written on it.'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"This one would give even more benefits for when you go."

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"Papi, what do you have in your retirement plan?"

"It's great that you showed me how to get my 401K to roll over, but now it just plays dead."

Boomers.

'When it comes to retirement account rollovers, I'm top dog.'

401K

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"We explained to the Minister that pension management fees were incredibly complex..."

Pension planning for Brexit

Investing in aged care: 'Buy short memories!'

Writer's Pension Fund

Sacred Cow Meets Cash Cow.

'Financial Planning' employees torn between the young and the old

"Great! According to this pension calculator, I'll only have to work an extra sixty hours a week to survive in retirement!"

And there it is. . . the pension black hole.

"Get used to it, Eddie. Stocks below coat basis is the new normal."

'We scrimp and save and sock away money so that we don't need to rely on Social Security when we retire - and what does he do? He blows it all on a free agent.'

'I don't have a parachute of any color.'

Clancy:Looking Ahead

Faulty fiscal planning

"As a pensions advisor it's incumbent upon me to give you clear, honest advice..."

"A worrying 80% of employers haven't altered their pensions schemes after the budget announcements..."

"Having reviwed your portfolio I think your best option would be to die earlier!"

"It's true that many people do rely upon 'downsizing' to fund a pension..."

Plunging Annuity Rates Send Elderly Back To Work

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Gardner's question time: 'What plant would the panel recommend for area with no light, no food and no water?'

"My massive 401(K) retirement savings is going way too slowly."