Wealth Strategist Pillows

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"This morning, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, 'Bruce, you're a billionaire. It's time to stop horsing around and enjoy life a little.' "

"Well doctor, looks like your portfolio is in need of some managed care."

"I won't be able to handle your account anymore, as it suddenly appears that you're a small investor.'

"My kids may hate me, but my great-great-grandkids are going to love me."

'My hedge against inflation.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Engineered Consumption

'Believe me, nobody ever went broke from making too much profit.'

Which investment form fits better? Funds? Stocks?? Fixed dposits??? Or real property???? You see how badly I need a Feng Shui consultant!'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

Feeding at the Trough

'I'd like enough money so that I could afford to give it to politicians and run the country.'

'I figured if we live of the carried interest of our myriad stock holdings and mutual funds, and dodge the payroll tax. . .we can probably just scrape by - if I can find a job.'

'I hope you realize that when I use the term 'disposable income' it is not to be taken literally.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"My website earned $168 million last year. But as you can tell, I personally haven't made one penny."

"The poor pay taxes... the rich pay accountants."

A man shows up to a lottery winner's door with a 1040 form.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'Sally, I'm going to marry a rich girl, get my MBA, invest her money, become very wealthy, wait till the kids are all through college, and then divorce her -- Will you wait for me?'

Zen Wall Street.

'Another one of those useless fat cats taking home their bonus...'

I heart tax loopholes.

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

Will work for ETFs

"If the bastards are going to take away my non dom status I've a good mind to leave the country and go and not pay my taxes somewhere else!"

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'But, Warren!....What we NOW pay we think is already more than fair!'

"My whole goddam MacArthur is in Nasdaq."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."