Financial Strategist Pillows

King Lear and his Accoutant

"Right now I think the wisest strategy is to diversify among your mattresses."

"Have you considered short-term treasurys?"

'I'm not interested in minimum risk. I want long term gains without risk.'

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

"Yes, I'm still getting up early, but these days it's to check on the spot markets for oil and natural gas."

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

'I'm making out my will. Is there anything you want me to leave to you, other than debt?'

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

'I miss the good ole days when the world paid little or no attention to us.'

The Lawyer Fairy

'Great shareholder report, sir! I admire the way you avoided any hint of substance.'

'The problem seems to be pointing in your direction, Ferguson.'

'We are on the road to recovery. We just happen to be going against the traffic.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Begging in front of a Loan machine

We won't have to face any angry stockholders. We're running our annual stockholders meeting as an online webcast.

'I miss the disposable income days.'

"It's a graph of economic recovery...which way up do you want it?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"I'm going to recommend we switch to Plan B, which I like to call 'Go with the flow'."

'Change is coming Chester, and you better be prepared.'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

"Let's extend our debt ceiling this evening."

"Oh, there's nothing really wrong with our marriage. We'd just like to figure out a way to monetize it."

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

Risk assesment

"I've come up with something that will stop shareholders worrying about dividends."

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

'I think it's a good investment if it can stay under the S.E.C.'s radar.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'