Savings Strategist Pillows

Belt-tightening

Unusual Retirement Plans

"I'm just saying, maybe you should have gone for the more expensive hearing aids!"

"And in what denomination would you like your 'every last damn cent'?"

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'My investment objective is to be able to pay my energy and drug prescription bills.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

How to save money on geriatric care?

'I've taken the liberty of drawing a graph of your savings.'

Rolling Over a Pension.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"Between my IRA, small pension, and savings, I think when I retire, I'll only need two part time jobs to get by."

"It looks like your private pension isn't going to yield as much as we originally anticipated...I'm afraid you'll have to go on collecting nuts for years."

'They're having money problems. Better hide your piggy bank.'

"If we buy two full price, we can buy another six we don�t really want half price."

'That's just a figure of speech. It doesn't mean that whenever there's a rainy day you can go and spend it all!'

Why there are financial planners.

'After just sitting on it a long time we've decided to invest our nest egg.'

'I wouldn't have any savings at all if it weren't for daylight savings time.'

Very sad piggy bank

"We offer 35% interest on money you never withdraw!"

'You haven't touched the the reserve funds yet, have you?.'

'I already have money. I need advice on how to keep it and make it last.'

Piggy bank #4: factory.

Philosophical piggy bank.

"No, sorry, folks ??" you still can't afford to start a family."

'Your money is deposited to your account automatically and is paid out automatically. At the moment, I'm sorry to say, it's out.'

'Hospital costs are cut in half when you have the baby in the cab on the way there!'

'It's easy to save money - Just spend his.'

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

"As a security precaution we'll cancel your cards, close your accounts and pretend we've never seen you."

'What happens if I die young?'

"If we don't give up the cars, holidays and meals out we'll never save enough in our pension to have a decent retirement."

"We're going to have to invest in another mattress."

Well, at least my 401(k) plan is up.