Savings Strategist Pillows

Belt-tightening

Unusual Retirement Plans

"I'm just saying, maybe you should have gone for the more expensive hearing aids!"

"And in what denomination would you like your 'every last damn cent'?"

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'My investment objective is to be able to pay my energy and drug prescription bills.'

"Between my IRA, small pension, and savings, I think when I retire, I'll only need two part time jobs to get by."

'I've taken the liberty of drawing a graph of your savings.'

How to save money on geriatric care?

Rolling Over a Pension.

'They're having money problems. Better hide your piggy bank.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"If we buy two full price, we can buy another six we don�t really want half price."

"It looks like your private pension isn't going to yield as much as we originally anticipated...I'm afraid you'll have to go on collecting nuts for years."

'You haven't touched the the reserve funds yet, have you?.'

Very sad piggy bank

'I wouldn't have any savings at all if it weren't for daylight savings time.'

"We offer 35% interest on money you never withdraw!"

'After just sitting on it a long time we've decided to invest our nest egg.'

'I already have money. I need advice on how to keep it and make it last.'

'That's just a figure of speech. It doesn't mean that whenever there's a rainy day you can go and spend it all!'

Why there are financial planners.

"We're going to have to invest in another mattress."

Piggy bank #4: factory.

Philosophical piggy bank.

"No, sorry, folks ??" you still can't afford to start a family."

"If we don't give up the cars, holidays and meals out we'll never save enough in our pension to have a decent retirement."

'It's easy to save money - Just spend his.'

"As a security precaution we'll cancel your cards, close your accounts and pretend we've never seen you."

'I saved all my pennies in a jar, and do you know what I had after five years?'

Well, at least my 401(k) plan is up.

'Hospital costs are cut in half when you have the baby in the cab on the way there!'

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

'Your money is deposited to your account automatically and is paid out automatically. At the moment, I'm sorry to say, it's out.'