Savings Strategists Pillows

'Our certificate of Deposit Interest rates may seem low, but I assure you, they are better than anything you can get by leaving your savings under the mattress.'

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

'We'll save a fortune on air-conditioning.'

Old people asking a bear how to hibernate to try and avoid the winter heating bills.

Your Money Back if and when We Feel Like It.

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

Phil continues his reign as the King of Attainable Goals.

"Hoping to win the lottery is not a retirement strategy!"

Economic Crisis

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I just..."

Investing your savings

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Roasting the Moneybox

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"It failed the stress test."

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'They are like family...they're my family of retirement funds.'

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank