Longevity Strategist Pillows

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Environmentalist Brainstorm

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Population rocket

401K

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

'This new 'mentoring' policy is a wonderful idea...It gives staff the chances to take on significant extra responsibilities in relation to staff support and supervision.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

Pension planning for Brexit

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?