Legacy Strategist Pillows

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

"I married for contrast."

'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

Battering ram is a giant key to unlock castle doors.

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

Cupid's Heart Dartboard

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'I'm thinking of marrying Jim. But first, I have to engineer an introduction to him....'

Cupid Takes it Up a Notch

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.