Life Strategist Pillows

'It's not who you know or what you know that helps you succeed. It's what you know about who you know, that you can hold over their head, that will help you succeed.'

"Opportunity doesn't knock. Usually it enters quietly, looks around for acknowledgement, and silently departs."

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

Knew the score but played wrong game.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Do you have any other skills?

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Mountain Tops Incorporated

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

"We have a goal wrapped in a plan, and served on a bed of success."

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

'If you want to be a great success, get yourself huge wads of money.'