Pension Planning Enthusiast Gifts

"It's never too early to start pension planning."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Someone loses his pension.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

Rolling Over a Pension.

Mismanagement Consultant.

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

Department of Work and No Pension

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

'Calm down, I'm here for your pension.'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

'If I expand your products into Europe I want a defined pension plan.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

'It looks like your pension gap is finally catching up with us!'