Pension Plan Enthusiast Gifts

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Someone loses his pension.

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

Rolling Over a Pension.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

Department of Work and No Pension

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

"I keep my savings under my mattress. It's the only way I'll ever be able to retire on my money."

'Calm down, I'm here for your pension.'

And do you promise to love, honour and take out a whopping great pension.

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."