Pension Plan Ponderers Gifts

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Someone loses his pension.

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

Retirement Issues

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

Rolling Over a Pension.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."