Pension Plan Ponderers Pillows

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Someone loses his pension.

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

Rolling Over a Pension.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."