Retirement Specialist Gifts

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

"If you're so good, why are you still working?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

401K

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Frosty, the Golden Years

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."