Retirement Specialist Gifts

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

"If you're so good, why are you still working?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

401K

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"