Aging Advocate Gifts

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

'Rex is saying that, in dog years, he's old enough to sit on the panel.'

'Sounds like his prostate is acting up....'

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Someone to see you!"

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A senior moment.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

Don't laugh - when you get old, your neck will get saggy, too.

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'You know you're getting older when the old 'fire in your belly' is actually acid reflux.

An extremely general practitioner

"Another birthday. I feel like a dinosaur."