Retail Transitioner Gifts

"Honestly, I saw this place as a stepping stone to my true calling!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Cut Price

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Home depot."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I just..."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Life and Death

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'The body's ok, but the neck's too tight.'

To-Let Town Centre Map

Last Chance for Everything.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified