Comical Transitioner Gifts

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

Metrocard error messages

"Well, they did say half-board."

'Still hard getting used to the office going paperless?'

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

After working as a day care director for 18 years, Brenda made a career change into law enforcement.

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

"I unfollow people when they ask me to think for myself. I mean, who has the time?"

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

Opera house to support

"What do you think of my comedy site?"

God's My Space.

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

A Guide To Internet Laughter

"Looks like you've got something there."

"To subtle?"

"Make a face that will inspire a meme."

"Check it out! This app tells me how much money I have in my bank account!"