Comical Commuter Gifts

"Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus!"

'Does this bus go past the nudist camp?'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Laughing Zone Ahead

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

Metrocard error messages

King Commute.

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

'Elevator's fixed.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

Bus of Fools

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

"I never finished my online degree because the internet connection is really spotty in my parents' basement."

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'

"I get here at 6 a.m. and leave by 3 so I can beat the swarm."

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Well, for me it's either a one-minute ride on the bus or a two-hour walk...

"Cockfosters!"

"I think I'm getting road rage."

New Downtown Parking Ramp Grams Opening 1:00 pm. . . Ramp Full 1:30 PM.

'Hot enough for you?'

Opera house to support

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! If I may have just a moment of your time. My name is edward, and I'll be sitting here reading the paper with my mouth shut. Thank you for your time, have a good evening, and God bless!"