Commuter Comedian Gifts

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Strategic Rail Authority to Richard Branson - 'I'm afraid you'll have to stand, all the seats are taken.'

Ticket Machine

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Metrocard error messages

The Commute To "Louie's Lobster House"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Opera house to support

Bus with sign - 'Roger, Roger, where have you gone?'

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

Honey I'm Home

Need a Lawyer?

King Commute.

'Elevator's fixed.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'I don't like this. . .'

Bus Stop Evolution

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

Bus of Fools

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."