Commuting Comedian Gifts

'I wonder when he's going to realize he's not on a bus.'

Need a Lawyer?

Take Mass Transit Today

Cat in an office lift.

"When you rushed off to work this morning and I said to stop and smell the flowers, I didn't mean on I-80 during rush hour!"

The End is Not Near.

'What do you mean I can't take the HOV lane? There are two of us?'

Public transit

'Here comes the 96...'

Fleas at rush hour.

"I just can't abide having to face the opposite way to which I'm travelling."

"Your ride is here."

"I was told Bob fell off about 4 blocks back, so we do have room for one more. Would you like to carpool with us?"

Replacement Bus Service Timetable

Traffic Circle. Buckle up. No stopping.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

Trapeze artists commuting

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Theme Park 'n' Ride

Metrocard error messages

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.