Commuting Comedian T-Shirts

'I wonder when he's going to realize he's not on a bus.'

Need a Lawyer?

Cat in an office lift.

"When you rushed off to work this morning and I said to stop and smell the flowers, I didn't mean on I-80 during rush hour!"

The End is Not Near.

'What do you mean I can't take the HOV lane? There are two of us?'

Public transit

'Here comes the 96...'

Fleas at rush hour.

"I just can't abide having to face the opposite way to which I'm travelling."

"I was told Bob fell off about 4 blocks back, so we do have room for one more. Would you like to carpool with us?"

Replacement Bus Service Timetable

Traffic Circle. Buckle up. No stopping.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Trapeze artists commuting

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Honey I'm Home

Theme Park 'n' Ride

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Metrocard error messages

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

'I don't like this. . .'

Tortoise is snail taxi.

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'