Commuting Humorist Gifts

Snail skates

"Well, I'd better head home. I've got a long commute back to my shell."

Four horsemen rode into town.

'Typical - you wait for hours then two turn up.'

Road Signs.

"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."

Old Moore's Timetable

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

'One carry-on!'

"Take me home now!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

Need a Lawyer?

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Metrocard error messages

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'I don't like this. . .'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

Tortoise is snail taxi.

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

Bus Stop Evolution

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.