Commuting Comedy Gifts

Platform Position Plan

'Sorry, Mary. We know you won the lottery and quit, but we still need you to drive with us we so can use the car pool lane.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Trapeze artists commuting

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

Theme Park 'n' Ride

Need a Lawyer?

King Commute.

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Metrocard error messages

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

'Elevator's fixed.'

Penguin at work with zebra and lion says: 'The commute is killing me.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Bus Stop Evolution