Commuter Comedy Lover Gifts

Rats flee down the tube tunnel.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Trapeze artists commuting

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

"Baldo, you can't flip off people in a big city like this! You never know what kind of crazies are out there! What if they follow us home?"

Metrocard error messages

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

King Commute.

'Elevator's fixed.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

Bus of Fools

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'