Satirical Commuter Gifts

Businessmen park their cars and mount horses at Park And Ride.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"You have arrived at your destination."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

King Commute.

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Metrocard error messages

Penguin at work with zebra and lion says: 'The commute is killing me.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

Tortoise is snail taxi.

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

"I get here at 6 a.m. and leave by 3 so I can beat the swarm."

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

Opera house to support

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! If I may have just a moment of your time. My name is edward, and I'll be sitting here reading the paper with my mouth shut. Thank you for your time, have a good evening, and God bless!"

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

"Cockfosters!"

'Hot enough for you?'

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

The Privatization of the MTA.

Covid-19: Mind the Gap

Next Train 45 Minutes - 'Now the government is back in charge I'll take it with a pinch of salt.'

A Packed Bus