Urban Commuter Satire Gifts

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Metrocard error messages

King Commute.

Messing Up My Metrics

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Penguin at work with zebra and lion says: 'The commute is killing me.'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

Tortoise is snail taxi.

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

"I get here at 6 a.m. and leave by 3 so I can beat the swarm."

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! If I may have just a moment of your time. My name is edward, and I'll be sitting here reading the paper with my mouth shut. Thank you for your time, have a good evening, and God bless!"

The Privatization of the MTA.

'Hot enough for you?'

Opera house to support

"Cockfosters!"

Covid-19: Mind the Gap

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Next Train 45 Minutes - 'Now the government is back in charge I'll take it with a pinch of salt.'