Commuting Satire Gifts

Penguin at work with zebra and lion says: 'The commute is killing me.'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

King Commute.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Metrocard error messages

Need a Lawyer?

Theme Park 'n' Ride

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

Bus Stop Evolution

'I don't like this. . .'

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

Tortoise is snail taxi.

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

'I'll fix you! But Good!'