Tech Transitioner Gifts

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

'Why did you leave your last job?'

After 15 years Mike was released

'This goalie used to be a jockey.'

'Norma, Mr. Reaper here is seeking to make a career change.'

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.'

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

"We're giving you the opportunity to explore freely other opportunities for personal growth beyond the confines of your present position. You're fired."

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

Welcome to the IFRC New Normal

'We've got to digitalise our records...unfortunately Colin has most of them written on his arm.'

"Will you need more than two weeks notice to resign and remove your current employer's logo that's tattooed on your neck?"