Tech Transition Seeker Gifts

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'Instead of firing me, he could have tolerated mediocrity a little longer.'

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

"Recently separated."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

Melting Icicle

'Why did you leave your last job?'

"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."

After 15 years Mike was released

'This goalie used to be a jockey.'

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

'Norma, Mr. Reaper here is seeking to make a career change.'

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.'