Career Transitioner Gifts

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'Why did you leave your last job?'

"We're giving you the opportunity to explore freely other opportunities for personal growth beyond the confines of your present position. You're fired."

"Why yes, I love Charades! So, it rhymes with 'wired' and is my next career move..."

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'Me too - it started as a hobby, and eventually became a career.'

'This goalie used to be a jockey.'

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

"Will you need more than two weeks notice to resign and remove your current employer's logo that's tattooed on your neck?"

"Why yes, I love Charades! Do, it rhymes with 'wired' and is my next career move. . ."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Work/Life Balance

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Work Parfait

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."