Career Transitions Gifts

"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."

"How long have you been with the company, Sidney - not counting tomorrow?"

'I used to be on the cutting edge, always pushing the envelope. Now I stuff them.'

'Looks like Harold is having a hard time transitioning from freelancer to in-house.'

'I've gotten quite a bit out of that creative writing class. I think I'll become a literary agent.'

"There's not much call for 'the smiting of the ungodly' at the moment. Would you consider working in a call centre."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"That's life in the corporate world. Yesterday I was the company's 'go-to' guy, and today, I'm the 'you go too,' guy!"

"Previous job, babysitter. What made you leave?"

'Finally my boss noticed me today, I got fired.'

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

'Isn't that sweet and I didn't even give my notice yet.'

"You know what? I always wanted to quit my boring accounting job and do stand-up comedy." "Why didn't you?" "I thought my family would laugh at me."

"I realize you're an attorney, Hargraves, but you're also a team player. Now go down to the sixth floor and be an accountant."

"Let me see if I've got this straight."

Businessman Panhandling

"Hey, Fred, how's my old office?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Others will fight for you

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'