Career Transition Explorer Gifts

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

'The lawn maintenance position has been filled. Have you considered being a life coach?'

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

"I just lost my job as a flag pole sitter."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'