Retail Transformation Analyst Gifts

"And now for a long hard look at the changing profile of High Street Banking."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Men's business romper.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread