Retail Strategist Gifts

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Why has Walmart made it big, while Kmart hasn't?'

"In the absence of an alternative strategy Norman is sacrificing a goat to the God of retail next door."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything's gone up."

Sales.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Entertainment systems

Supermarket Merge