Supermarket Strategists Gifts

Supermarket aisles in relation to health.

Aisle 4 Water

War of the Supermarkets

It's tough staying on a diet. I buy a quart of milk and the cash register spits out coupons for cakes,cookies and pies!

White middle class riot.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Price may vary with weather.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Low Hanging Fruit

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Supermarket Merge

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Artificial Isle

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."