Supermarket Strategists Pillows

Supermarket aisles in relation to health.

Aisle 4 Water

War of the Supermarkets

It's tough staying on a diet. I buy a quart of milk and the cash register spits out coupons for cakes,cookies and pies!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Price may vary with weather.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

Low Hanging Fruit

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Attack of the 'health' foods

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Artificial Isle

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"